Transits of a Metamorph

After stumbling upon the summary of the transit reading I had with astrogrrl earlier this summer, and reading it with eyes 3 months older and perhaps a smidgen clearer, the thing that really hit me was the theme that ran through the entire 12 month transit forecast. Here’s a sampling I took:

…clarify your vocational goals…
…greater spiritual awareness concerning your career and public persona, or self-expression in the world…
…begin to seek out some career that is your real calling…
…your professional career or your presence on the public stage, even your very self-concept may alter, causing you to undergo a potentially painful period of re-examination and transformation…
…You have a serious inner purpose at this time, that drives you toward changing your career in a way that more fully expresses your true mission in life…
…You are going through a potentially painful process of examining and realigning your self-concept, possibly as a result of old wounds coming up for you during this period of time…
there will be a transformation in your goals and your interaction with socially conditioned values…
…Your patterns of friendship and group association may radically alter during this period…
…Your whole life may be in a state of flux…
…Things are changing for you at this time, and your feelings of restlessness under this transit may be urging you to let go of some previously cherished structure of your life. A disruptive and potentially disturbing energy comes into your conscious awareness…
…leading to previously unsurpassed levels of understanding of just who you are. After the dust has settled, a new maturity may await you, one that enables you to more fully take charge of your own life…
…You also have a powerful urge to create at this time, and you need to get in touch with how to use this energy and what it is that you want to accomplish. You may experience frustration in trying to go your own route, independent of what consensus reality surrounding you may dictate…
…Old wounds in the area of selfassertion and how you make your way in the world may come up at this time, causing you much suffering as you try to find your true path. It is only by going deep within yourself and trusting the intelligence of your own inner awareness that you can begin to heal these issues inside you, come through this period of chaos and enter a new birth of understanding and trust in your own process…

I would estimate about 98% of it (there are 107 transits described in the reading) speaks to change, chaos, purpose, vocation, career and other subjects of the inner realm that have been my sole preoccupation, and all of it about the making and breaking of the self, over and over again. Pain, confusion, wounds came up countless times, which would normally scare me witless (because I can sense the truth in them). But as some of the transits have come to pass, with much of the painful bits as foretold by the stars, and I am still here, in good health and sounder in many ways than I was when I began this leg of my intensive innerwork 4 months ago. So I think I can take a moment and give myself a little pat on the back, as I would if it were someone else I am looking at, and say, Congratulations for making it this far! Your courage and perseverance have been an inspiration to me! Carry on with the good work!

Seeing it through an imaginary third party’s eyes, I have the insight that this is also a revelation to me. I had always thought of myself as a coward, the subversive kind that puts up a nicely puffed up front when on the spot, but there is nothing holding me up inside except that temporary puff of hot air (see my dream and dreamwork from yesterday: http://lastnightidreamed-whitelightone.blogspot.com/2010/10/astrology-individuation-middle-way.html). But I can see now that I have been exactly like the Cowardly Lion, believing he was without courage, when all along he was the one who exemplified the brave heart of a warrior, he just couldn’t see it through the chimera of his disbelief. His was the archetype of the skeptic, his purpose on the heroic quest is to bring chaos into change. And so it is mine.