Cataloging Change

Meditation this morning was not to be, my mind is a wild wind.

I thought about the family dinner last night at my sister’s, with those whose blood is closest to my own. The halo of beauty, simplicity, and a precious harmony that seems always to surround these family gatherings the last few years. What an enormous change that has been from what used to be. I thought about discipline, how I’m seriously accepting its significance in my life for the first time. I thought about how much I want to lose this uncomfortable weight I’ve been carrying. (How much, exactly, do I want this??) I thought about writing some poems today, maybe haikus…

This year is going to require a lot of trust on my part, in Life, in myself.

Speaking of enormous change, I thought i would take a quick inventory of just how much has changed in myself in the last year:

• Yoga and meditation – woulda never put money on doing them with any degree of joy, nevermind as routine and, dare I say it, commitment??

• Zen Buddhism and Daoism – little or no concept of what they were a year ago, certainly no feel for them.

• Doing household chores and other onerous tasks with serenity and even enjoyment – you’ve gotta be kidding!

• Riding the same wave of expansion, cooking and trying out new recipés have also become a new interest. I’m beginning to have a feel for basic spices and flavours of herbs and condiments that used to be a blind spot for me.

• Looking forward to and enjoying family gatherings – and allowing my heart to be opened by love – never before seen nor felt.

• Relating to trees, lake, birds, plants, stones, my neighbourhood, even people – nowadays with a smile in my body.

• Opened to group energy with less resistance, allowing the beauty of each person to come through.